Fashionably Kelli: July 2018

Girly Life Hacks that I ALWAYS Use

, by Kelli Jagger

How to: Self Love

Every human deals with perfecting the act of self-love. When it all comes down to it, loving yourself is directly correlated with your mental wellbeing and even at times, your physical health. People struggle with finding love in themselves and it feels hopeless to even think that way sometimes. However, there are techniques to improve your self-love and live a happier life.

My history

I have had a long road with self-love and still struggle with it to this day. Even from a young age, I was always nagged about my appearance from everyone from my friends to my family. Since I was exposed to these negative attitudes at such a young age, it has been so challenging to find love in my self and my own body especially. It was not until I surrounded myself with positive friends who made me realize my own self-worth and encouraged me to fall in love with my personality and my body by highlighting my accomplishments and how others see me. It is so easy to judge ourselves and pick out all our flaws, but you will be amazed at what people actually see versus what you see. From positive feedback from these friends, I have reason to find love within myself and begin to focus on my positive features and disregard the flaws I cannot change because they are apart of me and we all are only human. Perfection just isn't real and it is the little things you may hate that someone may love. Now, that may seem hard to believe but trust me, it's the truth.

Tips

Obviously, the road to self-love is a difficult one so here are some of my tips that could help you to achieve these goals:

1. Self-care days

Pick a day or a set time every day to just take some time for you. Treat yourself to some good food. Catch up on your favourite shows. Have a spa night. It is important to take time by yourself to pamper yourself so you can begin feeling good from within.

2. Rid yourself of comparison

It can be so easy for us to compare ourselves to other people, especially with the often immense exposure to social media. Lives on these networks are often edited and therefore, "fake" yet we try to be that idea of perfect. This is impossible and unhealthy. So take a social media detox and sign out of your accounts for a few days and you'll instantly see the results. You just need to make that step to disconnect. If you choose to use social media, sometimes you see negative people or things that bring up unhealthy thoughts on your explore page or similar. It is ok to block people and accounts that cause these feelings because if it will make you feel better not seeing these reminders, then why not just help yourself right?

3. Forgive and Move On

Holding on to mistakes you've made and having regrets is so pointless. It will just continue to haunt you. Now, as hard as it will be, you have to evaluate those mistakes, learn from it by setting goals or changing your attitude and move on. Forgive and forget is a little inaccurate because you will never really forget it, but instead, you can give yourself a life lesson from it and replace the negative regret with the positive lesson so it won't pain you anymore.

4. Start living for only yourself

We were all given our own lives, so why change the way you live your life for other people? If someone tells you to do something (in a non-work environment), why would you have to do it? Why would you go to a party or wear a certain outfit just because you think others would like it? Sounds silly, right? So, now you can stop doing it. This is YOUR life and live it the way that will make you the happiest. If you need to do things you don't want to in order to please others then they are not worth it and move along. Your happiness is the most important thing so put it above all else.

5. Wear what makes you feel good

You may not realize this, but clothes have such a big effect on your mood. When I wear an outfit that fits me nicely and that I really like, I instantly feel more comfortable because I like how it looks on me. I like to wear fancier clothes and heels because I love to dress up and I love the way it looks on me as it adds a classier and professional vibe. This gives me added confidence. We can all agree that wearing your favourite outfit makes you feel better, so why not do it more often?

6. Surround yourself with motivating and positive people

This is probably the most important tip to me. If you are surrounded by toxic people who do not love you for who you are and make you feel worse about yourself, they are so NOT worth it. It is so much better to be around people who are driven and can motivate you, but are still caring for you and love you unconditionally. No one has time for negative people, so let them go and find people who are worth your time.

Why is it important?

Loving yourself is the most important form of love that you can feel. When you love yourself, your life is heightened and the experiences you face become more vibrant and memorable. There is no reason not to love yourself. You are the most important person in your life. You are in control of yourself, I mean what is there not to love? You built yourself and that is the best creator so you know what you've built and if you don't like it, you have the flexibility to change it. When you've achieved this sense of self-love, not only will you be a better version of yourself but you will also have better work performance because self-love increases motivation and productivity as well as have better relationships because you can enjoy yourself more and love others. As they say, you can only love others if you love yourself first.

I hope this article was helpful! Stay strong loves xx