Many people hear the word "summer" or "pool days" and already get flooded with a wave of anxiety knowing that they cannot coverup behind oversized sweaters and long trousers anymore. I am one of those people. Summer isn't exactly my season. For so long, I absolutely dreaded it because the thought of pool parties and beach days made me feel so uncomfortable about my body before I even got into a swimsuit. I would always wear swimsuits that were either high-waisted or flowy, something to cover up my insecurities. I was so insecure of my body and I would often deny pool party invites or not even swim just because of this overwhelming fear of many people seeing all of my imperfections.
However, the more I've aged, the more I have realized what truly matters. People are not looking at your body. Pool parties and beach days are not about judgement, it is about having fun. And believe me, those "imperfections" you may be so scared of disappear if you have confidence. So this all may sound nice, but can I actually do it? Here are some tips that helped me:
1. Surround yourself with people who make you feel happy
The first roadblock you could be facing with feeling confident is the people you surround yourself with. Pick and choose the company that you want to spend your free time with and then it will make you feel more "in the moment" rather than "on display."
Those people love every part of you and you will feel that comfort and love when you are around them which will inspire you to feel that way about yourself without them. There is no problem in cutting out the people in your life that do not bring you joy or do not make you feel this way. This can be hard, but it will work in the long run. So call up your best friend, make some fun weekend plans and have a good time!
2. Morning affirmations
I'm sure you've heard this WAY too many times and it sounds dumb but try looking at it from another perspective because it does actually work. If standing in front of your mirror every morning and telling yourself that you are beautiful just does not work for you, try leaving sticky notes of things you like about yourself (and not all have to be physical). We do these daily positive affirmations not just to try to change our mind about our body but to change our mind about everything. You don't have to make affirmations just about your physical appearance. It could be anything that will get you thinking more positively and get you started on the right foot.
3. Pick styles and colours that you feel confident in
Ugh, the dreaded swimsuit shopping portion of all of this. I know how daunting it can be, but believe it or not, it can actually be a fun experience if you make it. There are so many fun different swimsuit types and colours. You do not have to wear the same black or red teenie tiny bikini like everyone else. People notice others who have an interesting swimsuit. So pick one that you genuinely feel comfortable in and that showcases your best features so you can have fun in your new swimsuit.
4. Wear clothes you feel happy in
There is always that one outfit that you truly feel good in. You know the one. Put it on and wear it around as much as you want. You don't have to wear fewer clothes to feel good in your own skin. Pick whatever outfit you like and strut your stuff in it.
5. Eat healthy and happy foods
When I was younger, I was told that "eating less" was the key to having a "better body" but that is so far from wrong. You do not need to eat less, you need to eat healthier and have balanced meals (especially so that you can treat yourself every so often with your favourite goodies). To eat healthy means different things to everyone. Pick foods to put into your body that are healthy but also that you enjoy such as smoothies or your favourite fruit. Feeling confident starts with how you feel inside too!
6. Get active
Similar to the last step, you need to start feeling good from within before you feel confident from without. Getting active does not mean spending countless hours in a gym doing ab workouts you found on YouTube. This could be taking daily walks, going for swims every so often, or even going for bike rides around your neighbourhood. Any way to get moving will make you feel better and stronger from within and they always say that being active floods you with endorphins (which is definitely true by the way), so get to it!
7. Spend more time natural
1. Surround yourself with people who make you feel happy
The first roadblock you could be facing with feeling confident is the people you surround yourself with. Pick and choose the company that you want to spend your free time with and then it will make you feel more "in the moment" rather than "on display."Those people love every part of you and you will feel that comfort and love when you are around them which will inspire you to feel that way about yourself without them. There is no problem in cutting out the people in your life that do not bring you joy or do not make you feel this way. This can be hard, but it will work in the long run. So call up your best friend, make some fun weekend plans and have a good time!
2. Morning affirmations
I'm sure you've heard this WAY too many times and it sounds dumb but try looking at it from another perspective because it does actually work. If standing in front of your mirror every morning and telling yourself that you are beautiful just does not work for you, try leaving sticky notes of things you like about yourself (and not all have to be physical). We do these daily positive affirmations not just to try to change our mind about our body but to change our mind about everything. You don't have to make affirmations just about your physical appearance. It could be anything that will get you thinking more positively and get you started on the right foot.
3. Pick styles and colours that you feel confident in
Ugh, the dreaded swimsuit shopping portion of all of this. I know how daunting it can be, but believe it or not, it can actually be a fun experience if you make it. There are so many fun different swimsuit types and colours. You do not have to wear the same black or red teenie tiny bikini like everyone else. People notice others who have an interesting swimsuit. So pick one that you genuinely feel comfortable in and that showcases your best features so you can have fun in your new swimsuit.
4. Wear clothes you feel happy in
There is always that one outfit that you truly feel good in. You know the one. Put it on and wear it around as much as you want. You don't have to wear fewer clothes to feel good in your own skin. Pick whatever outfit you like and strut your stuff in it.
5. Eat healthy and happy foods
When I was younger, I was told that "eating less" was the key to having a "better body" but that is so far from wrong. You do not need to eat less, you need to eat healthier and have balanced meals (especially so that you can treat yourself every so often with your favourite goodies). To eat healthy means different things to everyone. Pick foods to put into your body that are healthy but also that you enjoy such as smoothies or your favourite fruit. Feeling confident starts with how you feel inside too!
6. Get active
Similar to the last step, you need to start feeling good from within before you feel confident from without. Getting active does not mean spending countless hours in a gym doing ab workouts you found on YouTube. This could be taking daily walks, going for swims every so often, or even going for bike rides around your neighbourhood. Any way to get moving will make you feel better and stronger from within and they always say that being active floods you with endorphins (which is definitely true by the way), so get to it!7. Spend more time natural
How can you begin to be confident if you do not love yourself in your natural state? I know it can be difficult but start wearing less and less makeup to let your skin breathe and appreciate the skin you were given. It actually feels really nice, especially in the sweltering summer heat. Also, another tip that is very popular when gaining confidence is sleeping naked. I know, controversial at times, but if you are able to, definitely give this one a try. Over time, you will begin to become more comfortable in your own skin which will make you more comfortable when going out and choosing which clothes to wear too. And, there are lots of added health bonuses so double plus!
8. Be bigger than your insecurities
This is easier said than done, for sure. Your confidence is not based on your physical appearance. Your personality, kindness, and attitude are more of what people see on the outside than you think. You may think it's ridiculous and people think beauty is just outward appearance but think of the most beautiful people you know. What makes them beautiful? It's never just their outward appearance. It's their heart, their smile, and their contagious personality. Those insecurities you notice? I can guarantee others are not looking at those. Focus on your best features instead of what you think to be your worst. I know it's difficult but over time, train yourself to think this way about yourself and you'll see not only your confidence grow but also how you act around others too! You'll attract positive energy which will boost your confidence further. It is all related and the more that you push yourself to train your mind this way and to truly believe in your own unique beauty, the happier you can become.
Take some time to focus on you! Self-care is everything and do not overlook it just because you are busy. Stay strong, shine from within, and happy summer!
